According to psychological studies and statistics in the longer term the vast majority of sexual relationships cause more distress and unhappiness rather than happiness. It is obvious, at least to me, that stress due to failing relationships also has a major impact on our health, emotionally and biologically. Even medical thinking now regards stress as an underlying problem that aggravates all other diseases.
Sexual factors that may contribute to health problems are nutrient deficiencies, hormonal and bio-energetic imbalances, and emotional distress. Several of these may be involved in any one case, and they cannot always be identified.
Nutrient deficiencies relate mainly to loss of ejaculate. The seminal fluid is high in zinc and requires much vitamin B6 and omega-3 fatty acids, which are found in fish oils and linseed oil. Deficiency of these is widespread, especially in teenage boys with frequent loss of seminal fluid. The same deficiencies are common in schizophrenia, which starts most frequently in teenage boys. I believe that there is a causal connection.
Formerly doctors maintained that excessive masturbation could lead to insanity. They may have been right after all although, without proper investigation, modern medicine dismisses this as a myth. Zinc deficiency also leads to underdeveloped male sexual organs and later in life to enlargement of the prostate gland. By pointing out these connections I do not want to create guilt about masturbation but rather improve nutritional awareness. Also orgasm and schizophrenia are both associated with high and unstable levels of dopamine, while during depression dopamine levels are low.
A medical arthritis specialist observed that arthritis tends to get worse with frequent ejaculation (Arthritis can be Cured by Bernard Aschner, MD, The Julian Press, 1957, or Arco Publ. N.Y.).
Hormonal imbalances, especially dopamine excess or deficiency seem to be the greatest contributors to addictive behaviours, such as drug abuse, compulsive behavior and gambling as well as aggression, violence and attention deficit disorder. Oxytocin, on the other hand, has a beneficial influence on these problems.
For a referenced discussion of this subject see http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_and_addiction.
The main factor in raising our stress levels is probably the inability to discharge bio-energetic static. One common example is watching exciting movies that fire us up, and then going to bed without releasing the induced tension. It is likewise with conventional sex. Initially the body may get charged with skin stimulation and anticipation, but then there is little release, especially for women, if the union lasts for less than 30 minutes. No wonder many women develop emotional problems and gynaecological or nervous complaints, or just switch off and abstain from sex. Men, being less emotionally aware, may just develop physical symptoms instead, such as hypertension, heart disease, prostate problems or impotence.
Von Urban’s solution to relieve single or otherwise frustrated women of sexual and bio-energetic tension is a warm douche at bedtime on alternate nights. The duration is from ten to twenty minutes while lying in a bathtub. The water is supplied by fitting some rubber tubing over the tap. This is very relaxing and not meant to induce an orgasm, but will help to provide a peaceful sleep.
All diseases and health problems of the sexual organs are likely to be linked to unhealthy sex practices. This includes not only cancers and infections of the sexual organs but also in other parts of the body. Even tumor growth and metastasis are stimulated by stress hormones. Oxytocin counteracts the effects of stress hormones, and less stress means increased immunity and faster recovery. Oxytocin receptors have also been discovered in tumors. Therefore, oxytoxin has a growth inhibiting effect on cancer, especially prostate and breast cancer - the more oxytocin the less tumor growth can be expected.
In the following are some of the statements for which you can find scientific references at: http://www.reuniting.info/science/research
• frequent hugs between partners associated with lower blood pressure and more oxytocin
• touch and psychological support are health-promoting due to increased oxytocin
• oxytocin strongly protects organs from damage due to blood infection
• kissing may have positive implications those with allergies
• oxytocin speeds wound healing and reduces pain
• oxytocin counters addiction and soothes withdrawal symptoms
• massage aids detoxification for alcohol, oxytocin rises during massage
• oxytocin positively affects health and counteracts stress
• oxytocin reduces anxiety and stress
• less oxytocin results in more aggression and less caring
• oxytocin regulates cell proliferation and inhibits breast and prostate cancer
• oxytocin increases the receptivity of females
• oxytocin imbalance may underlie impotence and alleviate erectile dysfunction
• patients with autism and psychiatric disorders improve with increased oxytocin levels
• oxytocin involved in learning and memory
At the same site is an equally impressive collection of research references showing the health disadvantages of orgasmic sex.
Hypertension and Stress
As an example of the benefits of healthy sex von Urban mentions the following case. At a neuro-psychiatric conference he presented a difficult case cured with his Perfect Sex method within 8 weeks of high blood pressure, stomach ulcers and inability to work. A leading expert doubted that a change in sexual practices could have normalized high blood pressure. Von Urban asked this expert to send him his most difficult and hopeless case. Ten days after seeing the patient his blood pressure was almost normal.
It should be noted that in contrast Wilhelm Reich, who advocated orgasmic sex for release of excess bio-energy, died of heart attack probably associated with high blood pressure, and his wife suffered from severe hypertension.
Von Urban also presents the case of a young woman who had been diagnosed as schizophrenic, temporarily institutionalized and treated with electric shock. A few weeks after changing sexual habits she became and remained completely ‘normal’.
Considering the vast amount of hypertension, mental and other stress-related conditions in our society, and that von Urban demonstrated the effectiveness of his method only 60 years ago, I do not expect to see it discussed in medical journals or the mass-media any time soon.
I do not want to imply that sexual energy is the only factor causing or curing the discussed diseases, rather there are usually several factors coming together, and if one of them is changed from being detrimental to being beneficial, then this can be sufficient to overcome the health problem.
Furthermore, most of those with a chronic disease, and especially cancer, are emotionally rather fragile, and benefit greatly from a close-bonding loving relationship to elevate oxytocin. This is also beneficial with heart disease and mental-emotional conditions, such as depression and addictions.
High levels of testosterone are a negative factor with prostate cancer, and high estrogen levels with most breast cancers. But when we are in love (or create a feeling of love with increased oxytocin), levels of sex hormone in both genders become more like each other. Males become less aggressive, gentler and more spiritual, while females produce more testosterone to make them bolder and balance excessive estrogen levels.
For the Lack of a Cuddle
Anorexia nervosa develops mainly in teenage girls. This immediately suggests a connection to sexuality. I was intrigued to read that one of the more successful methods recommends, in addition to other measures, using a warm vest to provide a feeling of being warm and protected. That reminds me of an experiment with monkeys. Immediately after birth they were separated from their mothers and raised with two substitute 'mothers'. One was a wire structure containing a food bottle with nipple and the other was with terry cloth over the wire, heated by an electric bulb inside. The young monkeys adopted the cloth-covered structure as their mother substitute and were distressed when it was temporarily removed. The bottle structure was just a feeding machine to them.
All these monkeys became disturbed emotionally as well as in their behaviour when growing up, and they were unable to perform the sexual act successfully on maturity. Touch was emotionally more important to them than food. That is exactly what happens with anorexia nervosa. From this it is easy to see that the most curative method for these teenagers, as well as for others with emotional problems would be prolonged skin contact in a safe environment to raise oxytocin levels, and especially non-sexual, affectionate contact with someone of the opposite sex, as a bio-energetic boost.
It was often worse for human infants who were raised in church or government institutions without even a cloth mother substitute. One of the worst aspects for a baby is the feeling of not being wanted, and especially if it experiences hostility from one or both parents. A difficult birth with forceps and glaring lights is traumatic, also surgery and a negative attitude of some of those present at birth. Even worse is the prolonged removal of the baby from the mother in most hospitals. All of these generate stress hormones while more than anything else babies need persistent contact with the mother or a suitable human substitute to generate soothing and bonding oxytocin.
Presently there is a rapidly rising incidence of self-harm reported to affect up to 20% of teenagers, and even more teenage girls. While teenage boys tend to release their internal tensions through outward aggression and harming others, girls tend to harm themselves. Princess Diana admitted to it. This is not really new and was reported in former centuries and millennia. In the 19th century girls used to stick needles into their skin, and were medically known as the ‘needle girls’. At present cutting with razor blades is more fashionable.
The reported reason for doing this is unbearable emotional tension. It provides essential stress relief, and some girls say it keeps them alive so that they do not need to suicide. This tension starts with puberty and abates towards the end of teenage years. Self-harm is also related to eating disorders and is prevalent in detention facilities and nunneries.
We can now understand this behavior according to von Urban’s model of a stress-based bio-energetically charged skin. When in pain, bio-energy is released together with feeling energy, and this pain-induced release of bio-energy is what keeps these girls sane. Also the opposite can be observed, pain due to various known or unknown causes can be relieved by appropriate skin contact.
There is, of course, the same solution as mentioned above for anorexia, mental problems and hypertension: providing prolonged skin contact in a safe environment with someone of the opposite sex.A special time of the week may be selected where the whole family joins in gently massaging each other, especially the back, neck, shoulders and the feet. Also holding hands provides good energy exchange, especially between the right hand of a male and the left hand of a female.
Reducing Stress and Tension
Bio-energetic static and emotional-energetic blockages are probably major factors not only with hypertension, mental problems and other stress-related conditions, but also in the present epidemic of hip, knee and lower back problems, leg cramps as well as gynecological and other disorders in the pelvic area, including impotence and frigidity. Persistent bio-energetic static and its associated emotional blockages tend to cause muscle tension with permanently reduced blood, lymph and nerve supply to these areas, and makes them susceptible to infections, arthritis and other health deterioration.
According to the findings of von Urban and the experiences of couples practicing Karezza, the easiest way of reducing such persistent tensions is prolonged quiet skin and possibly sexual contact with a partner of the opposite sex, basically as a long period of relaxation or meditation. While superficial tensions may be eliminated in one session, deeper muscle tensions are caused by a life-time of sexual frustration, and may require many repetitions of lying together while using guided imagery and pleasurable feelings to melt the corresponding emotional blockages.
Emotionally deprived children grow into adults with antisocial or asocial tendencies. On one side of the scale this manifests as violent, criminal and destructive behaviour, and on the other as shyness, lack of confidence, self-destructive behaviour, and depression. Often our sexual problems start already right after birth if we are bottle-fed instead of enjoying mother’s breast, or worse, if we are separated from our mother for a prolonged period. This tends to make it difficult later to bond to a partner. Even with relatively good parenting our evolving sexuality causes enormous tensions and stresses while growing up in our society and most adults will experience emotional and health problems due our general ignorance in regard to balancing our sexual energy.
Compare our Western upbringing to the way von Urban describes how children were raised in some more advanced native societies. He writes “The Melanesians are certain that children whose sex impulses are not correctly developed can never become experts in love.” Sexual training is considered to be most important for the future happiness in the love life of their children. They encourage children to pay attention to their sexual feelings. There is a lot of touching, caressing and skin contact between adults and children in native societies.
The chief of an African tribe expressed his astonishment to an early explorer that Westerners do not provide sexual training to their children. He believed this to be more important than any other kind of training, as healthy sexual development not only provides bliss for the individual, but also a harmonious family and tribal life.
There seems to be a complete absence of sexual and stress related conditions in native societies described by Malinowsky. In our society children’s sexuality is so misdirected that sexual violence, rape and many forms of sexual inhibition, frustration and abuse, emotional problems, mental diseases and other stress-related conditions are a frequent outcome in adult life. This shows that we could learn much from native practices.
As these native people could observe all varieties of loving sexual activity, it had no unhealthy fascination or obsession for them, as it has for most people in our society. Consequently, abuse of children, rape, or other forms of violence, were unknown to them. Sexual activity to them was as natural and open as eating to us. No doubt, if eating would be regarded as 'dirty' and restricted in the same way as sexuality, and children and others would not be allowed to see us eat, most of us would have neuroses associated with eating.
According to Malinowsky such open native sexual education does not necessarily result in early pregnancies. Properly taught Karezza would not only lead to a healthier society at all levels, but would also curb the unsustainable overpopulation of our planet.
What many singles and especially women miss even more than sex is touching and hugging. Some try to satisfy this need with regular massage therapy. However, there may be a simple solution, just form a local "hug club". Discretely spread the word and you may be surprised by the amount of interest in hugging 'out there'. You may also form or join a healing group where hugging may be practiced together with other self-healing techniques.
