My name is Robina and I have a wonderful daughter, her name is Mali.
My name is Mali and I have a wonderful mother. We are closely intertwined and shall remain so, always.
It all began I suppose, long before my mother and father met each other, and before my first two sisters were born. When my mother was young she worked as a nurse in a psychopaedic hospital. In this hospital my mother was looking after elderly people and young children. This was a very sad place. In those days many children lived from the time they were tiny, in these types of hospitals. When these babies were born, their mothers and fathers were told that they could not care for their children at home, and that the best thing for the child and the whole family, was to leave their children in these special Government hospitals. Many parents were told by the doctors, that it was better for them to forget about their children. All these children had some type of disability. Some were extremely disabled and some were not so disabled. Some were crippled, some were deaf and some could not speak, and some were blind. Some were big and some were very little people, who never grew very big at all.
Usually about thirty children slept in one big room, with their beds in rows, each bed the same, all with white bed covers. The window glass was painted white on the inside, and the children could not see the sky or the garden. There were no pretty curtains on the windows. There were no pictures on the grey concrete block walls, there were no carpets on the floors, no music, no books, and no toys for the children to play with. In winter it was very cold, and on frosty nights, ice formed on the inside of the window glass.
One night when my mother walked between the beds and looked at the children, she was so sad she cried. She cried because all these children were so lost. They had never had the love of their mothers. They had never had their mother’s arms around them when they were sick or afraid, and had never had the love of brothers or sisters, and had never known the love of a grandmother or a grandfather. No-one had ever read them bedtime stories, or allowed them to look at picture books. They had never had a ride in a car, been on a picnic, or to the park or a beach, or had a pet, or had a birthday party, and they had never seen Santa at Christmas, or had any gifts. And they had never seen flowers or trees. On such nights my mother heard children cry, and call out when they had bad dreams, and were frightened, or when they were wet, or uncomfortable. Usually no-one came to them, and if they cried out too much, and made too much noise, the doctor would soon be told, and the next day the children would be given more medicine to make them sleep deeper, so they would not make these sounds again.
Every night and every day when my mother worked in this ward, she felt sad as she thought of all these things. Often she tried to cuddle and comfort the children, but there were too many of them, and the work she had to do there, did not include spending any real time with the children. When she tried to give them more attention, she ran out of time for her other duties, and the head nurse would become angry with her. One night when my mother walked between the beds and looked at the children, her sadness was too hard for her to bear, so she had to stop walking, and talk to God. “God “– she said, “if you ever gave me a baby with any problems, I know I could love him or her with every part of my being, and I would never abandon my beautiful child”. God and his Angels heard her promise and it was remembered. And this was the beginning of everything. My mother left this job in time as it made her too sad, and she could not change anything for these children.
Some years after this, my mother married, and my first sister Rosalind was born. She was a beautiful little girl with dark eyes, golden skin and dark hair. As time went by, she became lonely, and wanted a baby sister or brother. When she was almost five years old, our sister Anglee was born. This was a happy and sad time as Angelee had a twin sister, who died before her birth time. My mother did not realise for some years that her “lost” baby was alive, but in her spirit body and often near Angelee.
I now had two very beautiful sisters, and my mother loved them very much. Some years went by and there were happy times and not so happy times, which is how life is for most people really. A lot of difficult things had been happening in those years. My family had moved house several times, and even travelled from the south island to the north island. Now they had a new life and a nice little house in the country, and a new house was being built for them in town. Angelee was growing up and would soon start school.
When Angelee turned five and started school, our mother began to feel very lonely, as she had always tried to be a “stay at home mother” and to be there for her girls. She knew she had two beautiful daughters, but one day she began to think how lovely it would be for them to have a baby sister or brother. Over time, she thought about this more and more. Her feelings and thoughts would not go away, but instead became much stronger. Soon she began to have the strongest feeling in the whole world, that it was really very important for her to have a new baby in her life. Not long after she had come to this decision, my mother knew for sure, there was a little baby growing inside her body, and she was very happy. And this was the beginning of me. I was very, very happy too. I knew that this was the very best mother in the whole world for me!!!
At this time, there was something very important that my mother did not know. The same day I came into my mother’s body, we were given a new, very special angel. This angel was very strong, and carried the greatest love in his heart. Around him he had the most beautiful colours of pink, gold and white, and he was very loving and protective. My mother was given her own angel from the time she was a baby, right up to this time. On the day our new angel arrived for us, my mother’s old angel was allowed to move on to do other work. This is how it happened.
When my mother worked in the hospital, and she had made her promise to God and his angels, she did not know He had spoken to her own angel that night. He told her angel that when the time was right, it would be sent on to other duties, and a new angel would be given to her - and to me. This means that once my mother and I were together, we would share this special angel, and he would only appear once we were together. It was many years before I understood, about this and could tell my mother.
This new angel was very special in many ways, so I have decided to tell this part of his story here; it is a story of great love, and the story of how we came to have such a wonderful angel. When my grandmother Evelyn (my mother’s mother) was a little girl, her father Robert became very sick and died when she was seven years old. He had not wanted to leave his young family, but that was how it was, and it could not be changed. Evelyn had an older brother, Ross, who was closer to his mother, and Evelyn was closer to her father. Robert loved both of his children very much; Ross was a big strong boy, who was never sick when he was little. Evelyn was born on her father’s birthday, the 17th of September. She weighed only two pounds, which is about the size of a small packet of butter. There was no special hospital for her, or special doctors in those long ago days.
Eva her mother, was a very good nurse and looked after her baby at home with the help of three wise Maori ladies, called Kuia. These ladies had special blue marks on their chins, called Moko. It was a very difficult job taking care of such a tiny, sick baby in an isolated country place in those days. The help the three Maori Kuia gave Eva and Robert at that time was very important to Evelyn’s survival. She was so tiny she was wrapped in cotton wool and slept in a pie dish. Her mother fed her breast milk from an eye dropper as she was too weak to suck. Evelyn was lucky, she had a mother who loved her, and a dad who was able to heal sick people and three wonderful Kuia who loved her also. All this helped her to survive.
Robert was a man who had most of his life a very special gift. When he placed his hands near sick or dying people a warm light came from his hands and went into the body of the sick person. Many of these people become completely well again. Robert was able to do this for his own tiny daughter. At the time Robert died Evelyn was much bigger but still quite small beside other children her age. She was seven years old and slept in a baby’s cot in her parent’s bedroom as she was often sick in winter and had trouble breathing.
After he passed into his spirit body, Robert continued to watch over Eva and both his children. Evelyn grew up, married, and had two daughters. Robert watched over and protected them also, as the years of Evelyn’s married life were very difficult. There had been a war, and her husband had been very young when he went away to fight in the army. When he returned home, he was very sick in his mind. This made it difficult for him to be a good husband and father. Life for him and his family was difficult and unhappy for many years. Robert tried his best to watch over this family, as they needed a lot of help and protection to keep them all safe.
My mother was born in the same small hospital, Omana, in Levin, where her grandfather Robert had died. In fact she was born in the same room where he had died, and with the same doctor assisting Evelyn at the birth. This man, Doctor Miller had been Robert’s good friend. My mother always felt a special closeness to grandfather Robert. This feeling of closeness became much stronger about the time of her seventh birthday and continued for many years. My mother and Robert share a close name, as Robina is the female form of Robert. As we write this it is August the 17th 2010.
Robert often spoke to my mother in the years she was growing up, and she heard him. In this way he was able to protect and guide her through many of her life’s difficulties. When Robert tried to talk to my mother’s sister Colleen, it was different, as she did not hear him, and so he could not help her in the same way. He did not abandon her but continued trying to help, although it was difficult.
When my mother had made that promise to God and his angels, so long ago she had not known that Robert knew what she had promised. Robert knew there would come a day where his spirit self had matured so much, it would be necessary for him to move forward in his spirit life. He decided he did not want to leave my mother, so he offered himself as part of her pact. Robert knew that one day my mother would have another child. He also knew this child and my mother would need a lot of help. Robert asked to change places with my mother’s Guardian Angel and become the protector of both of us, when the time came for me to come to this world. He knew my mother’s life would be very changed and at times the road would be hard. In this way, he could continue to progress on his spiritual journey, and be our Guardian Angel at the same time. And so when I came into my mother’s body, grandfather Robert in this way, became the new Guardian Angel for both of us. He was only able to appear in his new form, when my mother and I became the two parts of the whole, that is, when I came into her body. When this time came, he was there for us both but in a more powerful and splendid form than he had been in his previous spirit body.
Finally now, I can explain all this to my mother!!! “Oh yeah – now Mum, you got it”!!!
My mother was always close to her children. She told my sisters that there was a new baby sister or brother growing inside her, and she often put Angelee on her knee and let her feel her tummy where the new baby was getting bigger each day. Rosalind was a bit big now to sit on her mother’s knee, but she also had a turn to feel their new baby grow and move. Our mother talked with them often about their new baby. Soon my mother came to feel certain that her new baby would be a little girl and she was very happy about this.
When my mother was young she had played the violin. Over the years she had tried to continue to play, but sometimes with the pressures of her life, she had not always been able to do this. Now, when both my sisters were away at school, she knew this music would make me happy. One morning she got her violin out of its box from under her bed and played for me. Over the weeks and months before I was born, she did this often. And she was right, I loved it. As I grew bigger I could not keep still, so I danced with joy in her tummy to the wonderful sound she made when she played for me. Sometimes in the afternoons if she had a lie down on her bed, she always put her tiny transistor radio on her tummy, and very, very softly, so she did not hurt my ears, she played me lovely classical music. I loved this time of day with her. Sometimes she talked to me and read me stories too, which I always loved. In the evenings when my sisters were in their beds, our mother read them stories too, and I listened, and loved it all. And in this way I came to know and love my mother and my sisters for quite some months before I was born.
We lived in the country at this time, and there were good and bad things about this. Our little cottage was in a field near a stream, and every morning we could hear birds and cows. It was nice and quiet most of the time. After a while, the thing that worried my mother most was that some days helicopters were flying over our house, to work on farms over the hills from us. Sometimes our drinking water tasted bad. She did not know what the helicopters were doing, and she worried about the taste of the water; she worried in case it was harmful to us. My mother also worried as she had no telephone and my father had the only car, and went to work in town every day and she was alone for many hours. My father often brought home large bottles of water to try and stop my mother from being so upset. I think she worried about the water a lot.
My father was an engineer, and one day he had taken the engine out of our car to do some repairs on it. We were many miles out in the country and we had no transport until he had fixed it. During this time my mother had such bad pains in her tummy, she thought that I would be born early. She stayed in bed and rested for several days and strangely, her pains went away on the day the car was fixed. Well - I had my own plans, and I was not ready to be born just yet.
Soon our new house that was being built in town was finished, and we were able to move into it. My mother was very happy, as she no-longer had to be worried about strange tasting water, what the helicopters were doing, or being far away in the country with no car.
It was a pleasant, sunny little house, and my mother worked hard, to make a lovely garden. My sisters soon had clean green grass to play on, and beautiful flowers to enjoy. My mother loved flowers, and always tried to grow the vegetables we would like to eat. At our old cottage in the country, we had no proper fences between our piece of garden and the fields where the cows were. The cows always came to our garden and ate everything. My mother liked cows, but sometimes they would come and chew her washing when it was on the line, or lean on the washing line poles. The clean clothes would fall into the dirt and the cows trampled all over them. This did not make my mother happy. When this happened, she would have to wash the clothes all over again, even if she was very tired.
Sometimes at night or in early mornings, the cows would stand outside the bedroom windows, and suddenly make a loud noises calling to the other cows. I quite liked listening to them, and the birds. My sisters did not really like these scary noises, or sharing their garden with these big animals, even though they were gentle to children. Our mother was always telling my sisters not to be afraid and to enjoy these kind animals. Soon she said, they would all live in the town, where we would have no animals.
Now everyone was so happy to be in the new house, for all these different reasons. After my family moved into this new house my mother had a strange dream. It came to her every night for many weeks, and right up until I was born. The dream would always be at the same time of the night, just before she was deeply asleep, and when she was not really fully awake. The first thing my mother saw was the soles of two tiny baby feet, with all the little wrinkles on them, being shown to her. This part of the dream was a message from me, trying to tell my mother something about my feet. It did not worry me that my body had a problem, as I knew everything was as it should be. But I did want my mother to understand there would be something about my feet and legs that would be different. I did not understand everything myself at this time, but somehow I knew this.
In the next part of her dream there was always a beautiful blue ocean and a large island, but it was more like a big rock as there was nothing green on it. My mother stood at the bottom of this rock, and as she stood there, a big dark cloud rolled from behind, across her and the rock, and took away a lot of the sunlight. The far tip of the rock island always stayed in bright sunshine, as the dark shadow did not reach that part of it. There sitting on the edge of the island in full sunshine near the beautiful blue sea, was a man with his back to her. He had a long fishing rod, and he wore a white hat. Even though the man sat with his back to her, my mother knew this man was her grandfather Robert. She knew he had been a trout fisherman most of his life, and she had seen this very same fishing rod at her grandmother’s house when she was a child.
My mother did not really understand her dream at this time, but she dearly loved the little baby feet she saw. She knew there had to be a message for her in this dream, but she did not understand what it was. What my mother did believe and understand about her dream, was, that no matter what troubles (dark clouds) were coming, she was certain her grandfather was there to help her. And she was right; this was exactly what he was trying to tell her.
My sisters were very happy in this new house and had started at their new school. My mother was busy working in her garden and getting ready for me to be born. She was busy preparing all the things I would need when I came into the world, and she was resting more as it came closer to the day of my birth.
When my mother was resting she would often talk to me and sing songs to me She did this, because she believed that babies are very wise, and they can hear and understand far more than people realise. And she believed that babies were able to learn many things even before they are born. Sometimes she massaged her stomach and me as well, as she talked to me, and we came to love each other deeply, even though we had not yet seen each other with our eyes. Most days she played soft music to me on her little radio, and some days she played her violin. These were the times with her that I loved so very much. I also looked forward to bedtime with my sisters and the story times with our mother, and listening to her soft voice. I know my mother was right in believing babies know and understand so many things before they are born, because I did, and I still remember so many things from those early days. In some ways it was for me, almost as if I was already in the world before I was born. I am so happy my mother did all these things with me. I have such a loving and wise mother.
In the early mornings when my father had gone to work, my sisters would come running from their beds, and jump into the big warm bed with our mother. They would snuggle up, one on each side of her, laughing and talking happily and this made me very happy too. My sisters were both very excited about me, and had lots of questions for our mother. Each day they wanted to know how big I had grown and when would I be coming out of her tummy. Then I would dance and jump around inside my mother’s body, because I was so happy to hear them talking, and to feel them close to me. My mother was often surprised at how well I could jump and dance, when I was truly happy.
My mother never got tired of talking to my sisters about me, and every day she showed them the best places to put their hands, so they could feel my tiny legs and arms kicking and dancing. I liked to play games with them too, but they didn’t know this. When I knew there was a hand over my kicking foot I would suddenly keep still, and when they moved their hand to another place, hoping to feel me move there, I would kick again in the first place, where my foot still was. They would come back to that place again and then I let them feel me kick. This game often made my sisters laugh. How I loved these happy mornings we all had together. And so many times, I wanted to hurry to be out of my mother’s body, so I could see them. This was my family and I loved them very much, and I knew they loved me too.
I did not hear my father’s voice very much, as he always went away early in the mornings and came back at night. To me his voice sometimes did not sound very kind, and he often shouted at my family. I didn’t understand why he did that, and I didn’t like it. When his voice made my mother upset, I felt upset too. When this happened, I did not feel like dancing inside my mother’s body, and I kept very still. When I was still for a long time, I knew my mother worried about me.
Sometimes my father made a lot of jokes, but more often, he made everyone at home nervous and unhappy. My sister Angelee was still a very little girl, and if he saw her sit on our mother’s knee, to talk to me and be close to me, he would shout at her, and our mother. He always said Angelee she was not a child any more. He was wrong about that. When he did this it made everyone upset. The best time for me was always when he was sleeping or away from our house. After a while I came to understand that these times were really the happiest for all of us.
One night there was something very strange happening. In the middle of the night my mother’s bedroom suddenly became as bright as daylight, and my mother woke up and so did I. For me it was as if my mother was in bright sunshine, and I could see it also, coming into where I was inside my mother’s body. It made me feel wide awake and very excited, so I was dancing around a lot. But what was strange, was that the light was not on inside the room, so my mother got out of bed and went to the window. She opened the curtains, and even brighter light came into the room, and she said it was so bright she could read her book by that light if she had wanted to. She said the whole sky, as far as she could see, was as bright as if the sun was up. My sisters got up then, and ran into our parent’s room to see what was happening. Both my parents had no idea what the light could be. My parent’s and my sisters went outside to have a better look, and it was so exciting. Even our next door neighbour and their little girls had woken up as well. Everyone was out on the driveway looking at the bright sky. Many people in our town that night were woken up by the bright light, and people who worked at night and were not asleep, saw it. No-body seemed to know what it was that caused the strange light.
There was so much excitement in the air at our house, and I soon had such a strong feeling that I would like to try to come out of mother’s body right away. In a little while my mother was feeling very uncomfortable with a pain in her back. She was feeling very heavy and tired. It was summer, and the days had been very hot. I was jumping and dancing about quite a lot. My sisters went back to their beds, but it was difficult for them to sleep. My parents went back to bed and my father was quickly asleep as he had to go to work soon. But my mother could not sleep. As well as feeling me jumping about excitedly, she began to feel new things happening to her body. For a long while my mother was very quiet, but as time went by she became more uncomfortable and could not lie still. She had to get up and move about. She went to the kitchen and made a cup of cocoa for herself, and she sat down to drink it. That did not help very much, so she went back to bed again to stretch out. That was best for me, and I could move about more. She lay still and rested for a while. She massaged her tummy and whispered to me so as not to wake my father. I tried to tell her that I wanted to come out into the world, and she heard me.
In a little while, she realised she had to say something to my father, even though he would be tired and grumpy. She tried to wake him up several times, telling him it was time to go the hospital. But he did not want to hear that, and so he kept turning over away from her, and going back to sleep. My mother kept poking him with her elbow. She had to poke him many times, harder and harder, trying to wake him, trying to make him listen. She told him so many times to wake up and soon she was getting worried. “Wake up – wake up, we have to go to the hospital now” she shouted. – “If you don’t get up right now, I will drive myself to hospital, or our baby might be born here! He heard that and turned back towards my mother, then opened his eyes and looked at her. Then he got up slowly and went to get dressed and then to get the car.
My mother got up then, and went to wake my sisters, and they came with us to the hospital. They were so excited when she told them she thought I would be born soon. I heard my mother say it was Sunday night, nearly morning and the girls had school the next day.
When we arrived at the hospital, my mother was finding it difficult to walk, as I had dropped down very low and I was trying my very best to come into the world. When a baby is born it is hard work for mothers and babies.
A nurse came and listened to my heartbeat, and told my mother my heart was very strong. She felt me through my mother’s tummy, and pressed me very hard. I didn’t like that very much. She asked my mother lots of questions about me. Then the nurse decided that my mother should stay at the hospital, as she also was sure I would be born soon. This made me very happy. My father took my two sisters home and my mother was put into a bed to wait for me to be born.
My mother was tired, but she did not sleep for the rest of the night as she had lots of pains. Every time my mother had a pain, I felt my body being squeezed very hard. This stopped me from sleeping also.
All the next day my mother had a lot of pain, but this did not seem to help me to be born. My body was still being squeezed very hard. My mother could not eat much or get any sleep as she would wake up every few minutes. Often my mother got out of bed and went for a walk. I liked her walking about, but it did not help me to be born any sooner.
Later, my father came back to the hospital with my sisters. It was good to hear their voices. My sisters asked my mother to tell them again when I would be born, but all she could say was “soon I think”. My mother tried her best not to show my sisters how uncomfortable she was. She let them feel me moving about in her stomach for a while, and then my father took them home again. My mother and I had another night without much sleep. Although her pains were really bad, I could not get out of her body.
In the morning doctor Hogg came to see my mother. He felt her stomach and talked to her about me .He told my mother he wanted her to rest for a few hours, but she said she was too uncomfortable. She just wanted me to be born soon. The doctor went away and came back to see her later. He said he had decided to spray some medicine up my mother’s nose. She thought this seemed a strange thing, but if it was supposed to help me to be born, she was happy to have it.
The nurse started this right away and was checking me and my mother often. For many hours my mother was having even greater pain, but I was still not able to get out of her body. Very late in the night, the nurse stopped the medicine, so my mother and I could try to sleep for a few hours. The nurse said she would start the medicine again, after my mother had eaten breakfast the next day.
The next day, the nurse put the medicine into my mother’s nose all day, and into the evening. Then it was time for my father to come back to the hospital with my sisters. It was so good to have them there, but soon they had to go home. I missed them. My mother was given the medicine in her nose until late in the night again. No matter how strong her pains became, and no matter how hard my body was squeezed, I just could not get out into the world. I was starting to feel upset.
My mother was left to rest for a few hours, and the medicine was started again the next day again after breakfast. Then our doctor came back to see us. He checked me and my mother and said we were both getting too tired, and if I was not born this day, then the next day was Friday, and he would try something else. This was not a good time for my mother or me, as we were both very tired and uncomfortable.
Later in the evening my father was back at the hospital with my sisters. By that time everyone was getting a bit worried about how long it was taking me to be born. Even though my mother had been in a lot of pain for many days, I was not born that night either. This was quite a frightening time for me and my mother; she was becoming very worried about me.
The next day after a breakfast, that my mother did not feel like eating, our doctor came back to see us. He explained to my mother that he wanted to put a needle into a vein in her arm. This would be connected to a tube, with a bag of medicine, which would drip into her body through her vein, and this would definitely make me hurry up and come out into the world. My mother agreed, as she did not want any more days like the last four days. But something went wrong. The doctor put the needle into the wrong vein, and my mother’s blood went up the tube into the bag of medicine. When my mother saw this she felt very sick and she fainted. At that moment I did not feel very well either. The doctor then gave my mother some time to rest. He checked me as well before he tried again. This time he got the needle into the right vein and very quickly, it started to look as if I would really be able to come into the world now.
This time everything went well. My mother’s pains quickly became very strong again, and each time my body was squeezed I was able to move down, and closer to being out of her body. Although she was very uncomfortable my mother was happy, knowing I would be born soon. Our doctor was happy too as he had been getting very worried about me and my mother.
The doctor went away, saying he would come back later .The nurses looked after me and my mother. They checked us often, and kept telling my mother she had a good strong labour, and I would definitely be born sometime in the next few hours, probably by afternoon. When it was almost one o’clock, she asked the nurses to telephone my father as she thought he should be there when I was born.
Soon my mother was moved to another room, as the nurses were sure I was almost ready to come out of her body. Here my mother was given her own special new nurse. She was a very kind black African lady, and she was to help my mother give birth to me. My mother asked her where her home country was, and she said Nigeria. I did not know what “Nigeria” was, but I liked the sound of her gentle voice. My mother was very tired, and the Nigeria lady helped my mother to sit up and lean on her, each time she had a strong pain, which was most of the time. This nice lady helped my mother a lot.
At this time there was a strange, but very strong feeling in this room. My mother felt it, and so did I. When she talked of this later, she called it a “vortex”. I think it scared my mother, She said it felt as if a great power was trying to pull me away from her while I was trying my best to be born. I now know there was something doing this. But I also know, that our special angel was stronger, and trying his very best to help me into the world, and trying to keep us both safe at the same time. He had chosen this job and he was going to do everything to protect us.
As my body was being squeezed and pushed out of my mother’s body, something strange happened. My mother was worried. She said to the Nigeria lady that all her pains had suddenly stopped. Then the Nigeria nurse urgently asked my mother to keep pushing as hard as she could, even though she had no pains. My mother was so tired, but she kept trying her hardest to push me out. It was very difficult for her. The Nigeria nurse quickly pulled my mother higher in the bed as she pushed. The Nigeria nurse pressed the top of my mother’s stomach, and kept saying to my mother to “hurry - push harder, harder”! Then the top of my head appeared.
Slowly, I came out of my mother’s body up to my eyebrows and stopped. At that moment our doctor came into the room. By this time my mother was not able to push me out any further. I was completely stuck. So our doctor hurried over and pressed my mother’s stomach at the top, exactly as the Nigeria nurse had done. With his help, I was finally able to completely come out into the world. The air was very cold on my face and body, after the warmth and safety of my mother’s body. This was a shock to me, but a good thing, as it made me breathe deeply. I did not like the bright lights very much, so I kept closing my eyes. Then our doctor said: “You have a little girl”. My mother was so happy her little girl was safely in the world, and I was also happy that I was in the world at last, and I could be with my family.
The Nigeria nurse wrapped me in a soft blanket and placed me in a baby bed that was waiting for me. I lay there on my side, happy and tired, quietly looking around me. Everything was new and strange. I wanted to see my mother, but I couldn’t do that very well. The bright light was in my eyes and made me blink. I heard her voice, so I knew she was close. All I wanted to do was stretch and yawn. It had been a long hard time getting into this world.
Our doctor came over to look at me. He was very quiet. As he leaned over my little bed, I saw something shiny drip from his eyes, and it fell on my arm, warm and wet. Then I heard my mother’s worried voice. She said “Is my baby alright”? After a long minute, our doctor said –“No, lass - she isn’t”. My mother said –“well what is it – I have to see”. First the Nigeria nurse and our doctor turned my little bed around, so my mother and I could look at each other for the first time. She looked at me for a long minute. She saw I was tiny, but my body looked chubby, strong and beautiful. She saw me kicking my legs and moving my feet. She saw my big wide open dark eyes, looking at her, with their long black eyelashes, and she saw I had lots of thick black hair. My mother touched my hand, and held my fingers in hers. She said – “She’s so beautiful”. As I looked up at my mother, with her red hair and blue eyes, I thought she was beautiful too.
Then slowly, our doctor and the Nigeria nurse turned my bed around. My mother saw a tiny bubble on my back. She said - “But it’s only a tiny bubble, surely that can be fixed”. My mother saw tears in our doctor’s eyes, and he was quiet for a long minute. Then he said “Well lass - one thing at a time, we’ll see”. He was a very kind man. I liked his voice, and I knew he cared about me and my mother. I was pleased he had brought me safely into the world and I was very happy to see my mother. But right now I wanted to sleep. Anything else would have to wait.
I was taken then by the Nigeria nurse into the baby’s room, and my mother was taken into a room next door. I was quickly asleep but my mother did not sleep. She worried and wondered about the little bubble on my back. My parents talked together for some time, and then my father went home, to see my sisters, and talk to them about me.
Some months before I was born, my mother heard from a friend, of a man who had been an animal doctor. This man, her friend said, put his hands near sick people and they got better. My mother had similar ideas, as she knew about her grandfather and his healing. She thought about this man often and the dreams she had every day about me.
One day my mother went to see this doctor. He told her about when he was young and worked with sick animals. He told her that he loved the animals very much, and held them and stroked them. He said love and kindness was also a great medicine. Soon he saw that the animals were getting better without medicine. His loving touch was making them well. After some time, he stopped working as a vet. People took sick animals to his house and they got better. Soon sick people came to see him and many people and animals got well. This man told my mother he never took money from the people, as he believed he was doing God’s work.
My mother told him about her dreams and her feeling that he might be able to help her in some way. The man said she had a small growth, or a lump in her stomach, near where I was. He did not tell her much about it. He did not want to worry her. He said he felt sure it could be healed if he had about three months to work on it. My mother thought I would be born in about two months, so even though the time was short, it was decided to try the healing. My mother went to see the kind man several times before I was born, and I could always feel something warm and strong coming into my body, as he held his hands above where I was. He always told my mother there would be time to complete the healing before my birth.
In those hours after my birth, my mother telephoned him to tell him I had arrived in the world. He said he was sorry that there had not been quite enough time, but he was confident that that the healing that had already taken place had been good, and more could follow. Then he said that the growth inside her body had not really been on her, but it had been mine, and was in fact the little bubble on my back. He said he was very sorry he did not tell her this before, but he knew she would worry, and worry was not good for her or me. My mother told him that the doctors had already told her that I would not live more than about two days. He thought about this for a little while, then said, that he did not believe that was right. He told my mother he was confident I would have a long and happy life. He could not say for certain if I would be able to walk, but he felt sure that if the right help could be found for me, it might be possible. My mother was much comforted by his words. He was able to send healing to me and my mother, although he was not in the hospital with us.
